Ask Cynthea

The Ask Cynthea entries are questions from real Cynthea Says readers that are answered by no one other than Cynthea herself. Questions can range from boys to beauty tips. The sources of these questions are ALWAYS anonymous. Ask away!

Reader: "Hey girl ok so I've been talking to this guy named _______ and we have been talking for like a while and I've known him for a long time and he used to text me first all the time now he doesn't and now I text him first now and he doesn't text me back but he text other people and tweet other people. What should I do?"

Cynthea: Sounds like he's stuck playing games! If you two have been talking for a long time, he really shouldn't keep you waiting and play those texting games that we all play. It sounds like he has lost interest, really. With him texting other people and tweeting other people, that should make it completely clear that he is not trying anymore and he has no interest in texting you. My advice to you: Stop texting him! If he texts you, go ahead and text him back but don't force the conversation. Also, I think its that time to stop focusing on him and leave him alone! If he's not interested, you can't be interested.

Reader: "My boyfriend is 21 and I am 18. He goes to the bar having fun and all I can do is stay at home.What should I do?"

Cynthea: Well, it sounds like you're bothered by the fact that he goes to the bar without you? If that's true, then I would tell him! Communication is key in all relationships, and if it bothers you, he should be willing to make some sort of compromise with you. On the OTHER HAND, if the bar is where he goes to hang out with his boys then there really is nothing wrong with that, it's what he's doing at the bar which is what you need to know. Drinking and not having his girlfriend around...yeah, that can turn out bad. So you really need to figure out if he's trustworthy in that type of environment. If you can't trust him, it's time to make some changes! If he's the trustworthy type and he's just going to hang out, then YOU go hang out! Go call your girls.

The Importance of Space

Todays Lesson: Girl, back up!
   
     Have you ever noticed how annoying your best friend can be after hanging out with her for a bit too long? How you and your long-time boyfriend fight over the dumbest things just because? Or how everyone thinks your sister is hilarious when really you're completely tired of her same old jokes? Well...its all because of SPACE! We need it! Things get old and people get annoying.
     Let's talk boys (what we do best), when you're talking to a guy or in a relationship with a guy things can get OLD and things can get old quickly! Things need to be spiced up from time to time and you both have to have your own things to do! One of you can't be making all of their dreams come true while the other just tags along or watches from the sidelines.
     Ladies, I know we like to be around our lovers all day and night but sometimes it's all that time that makes our relationship completely DRY. I know some of you may be thinking, "Well girl I needa watch my man and make sure he ain't doin' nothin' crazy!" Well missy A) You have trust issues or B) You don't need to be with someone who can't be trusted! We can't be afraid to spend time away from each other and spend some time with our girls or at home doing our own thing. And yes! Let him hang with his boys and do what boys do! If you're afraid of what he might be doing when you're not around, that's just not healthy.
     Everyone knows the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Let me tell you, it is completely true. How anxious and excited do you feel when your guy just came back home from a trip? Or after just a few days of not seeing him? How great is it to be wrapped up in his arms again? You can't ever appreciate his smell or his touch when your constantly up his butt! ALSO, if he loves you, the time away from you will only make him appreciate you more and it will be easier for the both of you to appreciate the moments you spend. So! Our next mission (if necessary): Make him miss you! Moments and quality time are more special when your life together is not a routine. Take a day away from each other! Have a girls day, catch up with your old elementary friend, spend the day in bed reading your favorite book or my blog ;) ...whatever your heart desires! Just allow yourself to breathe and your man too!

That is all. :)

Is He Worth It?

Today's Lesson: They just aren't worth it.

     Ladies, why do we keep letting them break our hearts? When I say "them" I think we know who I'm talking about... boys of course! I say boys because its boys who break girl's hearts, not men. Real men know how to respect a girl and can appreciate a real lady when they have one. I was inspired to create this blog when I realized how many women in my life were wasting their time on these BOYS.

     Why do we let them drive us so crazy? Is it their looks? Their manly attitudes? Their voice? Nope! A lot of the times it has nothing to do with these things. What I have been seeing is ladies who are insecure or simply just do not know any better. When you have not experienced love before, you often don't recognize it when you have it or you mistake certain situations for love. Love should not be hard or complicated. (I mean unless you're Romeo and Juliet...but I think we can all agree that they were just stupid.) You should not have to fight for your "lover" to love you or have to fight for his attention or affection. You know what that shows me? He needs to be DROPPED. Like immediately.

      Us girls often think that the toying around with our emotions are all a part of the game, but really it should only go to a certain extent. If you have been talking for more than a few months...something needs to be established and understood. We CANNOT be afraid to speak up and ask the guy, "What are we doing?" Cause guess what? When your mom told you there are more fish in the sea, she was right. There are! There's actually millions more fish in the sea and your clock is tickin' girl! (Not at ALL saying that you NEED to have a man, oh noooo! Let's remember, guys are an accessory, not a necessity.) If  this guy is making you more stressed than happy...he's just not worth it. If he's got other girls in the picture...don't you DARE try to fight over him, he's just not worth it. If he breaks up with you, there's a reason, he's giving you a free ticket to freedom, take it and GO because hes just not worth it. 

     Girls its time for us to recognize that it may be time for you to make the move, throw up the deuces, and LEAVE HIM. I'm not saying every relationship is going to be like the romances in movies, but it sure can't be like Ronnie and Sami from Jersey Shore. If you're stuck in a crazy or complicated situation with a guy, or even if you're just obsessing over a guy who won't ever notice you...say it with me...HE'S JUST NOT WORTH IT.

No stress, no tears, just love. All love!